One Foot in Front of the Other Part 2: Where We’re at Today & The Road Map Ahead
Just a few weeks ago a dear friend and sister of my heart eagerly handed me a wrapped package. She was bursting with joy to watch me open it, and the moment I tore the paper enough to see what it was I burst into tears. Of course I cried because of her generous heart, but also because it felt like one of the very first moments someone was celebrating our adoption in a tangible way. So as I read the words “Paper Pregs”, I wept and my heart swelled with unbelievable gratitude for that moment and the many ahead.
You see I’ve been realizing that this initial phase of the adoption process feels a lot like that first trimester of pregnancy. That time when your heart is soaring with delight over the little one growing in your womb. When you catch yourself daydreaming about what he/she will look like and are filled with excitement and anticipation of what the future holds for your child and your changing family. However, there are moments where your unformed belly fools you to forget of the life growing inside. Where you in some strange way find relief in those unpleasant symptoms of nausea, food aversions, and mood swings (for those of my dear friends with hyperemesis, I know it’s a different story!) to remind you once again God is indeed growing a life inside. Where you’re daily praying in earnest that the Lord would protect and keep him/her growing safely.
While I don’t have any of those physical reminders along the way, the emotions that come with each step of the process feel so familiar. It’s why when someone stops to ask us about how things are going, or just say a word of “Congrats!”, I’m just so deeply grateful to the Lord. I’ve always heard the expression “growing in my heart” referred to the love an adoptive parent feels for their son/daughter. I’m now understanding this so much more intimately. It’s true, each day that goes by, without even knowing who God has already ordained for our family, my heart feels like a womb that grows full with life. What a gift from God.
Okay, onto a few of the details so many of you have patiently been wondering about. First, where are we adopting from? Well, let me allow the pictures below answer that for you!
Some may ask why a child from the Far East? Well, the simple answer is because it has clearly been where the Lord has led us from the start. There are many wonderful stories of His circumstantial providence leading us to this decision that I could share about, and may with some of you over a cup of coffee/tea someday! I also feel compelled to mention that some may even question (and have) why not choose to adopt domestically? This is most definitely an area where each family feels a unique calling, and it's a decision that is made with much counsel, consideration, and lots and lots of prayer. And both JB and I can say that the more we are regularly seeking Him in prayer and spending time in His word, He has been most faithful to not only make the pathway plain, but to embolden us to walk confidently in the direction we must go. Even still, we hold this all with open hands, for we know so much can change along the way.
The next natural question is, boy or girl? We are leaving this too, in the Lord's hands. With how the international adoption process works, several months from now we will receive a call regarding the child that our agency has selected based on previously discussed criteria (which I will discuss a little further another time). He knows the exact child that was meant for us to love unconditionally and to be a part of our family. My heart skips a beat, my palms sweat a little and I daily think about that day when we will first see and learn more about the son/daughter He has chosen for us.
What does the international adoption process look like for us? Well, I figured one of the quickest ways to explain the process we are in, is to show the following flow chart and then continue to use the checklist just to help keep perspective on where we are at in this process. I came across one of these charts with stick people in my original research and just had to re-do it using our bear family. Tedious, but SO worth it! ;)
Truthfully, I don’t expect anyone to look at it and say “Oh, now it all makes sense!” Because frankly, there are still parts of this process that are confusing to us! However, it will show that it is complex with many moving parts along the way to our littlest bear. It’ll also help me keep you generally posted on what step we are at. Something to keep in mind is that everything is a hurry up and wait…wait…and wait some more. So if you talk to us one week to the next, we may not have any updates to share, since it could be months between steps.
So where are we now? Right now we’re in the “adoption audition” or “ultimate job interview” (aka home study) phase and expect to be done with this end of January/early February, Lord willing.
The last common question is when will we be able to travel and bring littlest bear home? We don't know for sure, but expect that it will be sometime around 15 months from now. Yep, it's a lot of hurry up and wait, BUT (and I will always say this) our son/daughter will always be worth it!
So hopefully this post answers some of the questions you may have about what's going on as of late. It certainly is not comprehensive, and there are some details we'll choose to keep private, simply out of respect for our littlest bear's story, as it will be his/hers to share one day if they so choose. However, if you have any general questions please don't hesitate to ask, and if I can't answer it I'll let you know most graciously.
As always, thanks for following along!
Joyfully in Christ,
